After opener Buddha Bass something-or-other finished their set, the stage announcer -- some Nineties Wavy Gravy holdover who used three and only three adjectives (irie! phat! and righteous!) -- said enthusiastically, "Art rock is not dead." Well the person who resurrected it ought to suffer through something at least as horribly painful as BB's set. Next, Zuba's lead singer continually implored the crowd to "express yourselves," meaning roughly, "Please, get up and dance." Silly girl, people were expressing themselves; their continued immobility was their way of saying, "Your brand of mediocre white-bread funk displeases us immensely, now please go away quickly." Then again, you'd have to be a complete jerk to bother complaining about any of those things, because it took one nanosecond of Fishbone to right the day. There's nothing like a burlesque, blaxploitation sideshow stage act complete with a soulish, funky, ska, rockin' reggae thing (did I leave out any genres?) to put some shake in even the whitest of butts. By the time De La Soul hit the stage, the crowd was so amped it would've welcomed Vanilla Ice as if he were Chuck D. They weren't either, thankfully, and it's tough to figure out how the inventive NYC hip-hop trio gets trashed for sub-par live shows. Then George Clinton, after an arrogant and inflated intro (lose the 20-minute guitar solo please!), brings 25 musicians, a space ship, and Bootsy Collins out with him over the course of, like, a week. He and the rest of the P-Funkers flat wore the crowd out. He was big, strong, and funky with more endurance than Abebe Bikila, some punk Manchester raver on five hits of X, and Methusela combined. You think he's cheating by rotating fresh players in and out of the line-up from song to song, then you realize there were 7,500 of us in the crowd, and we couldn't hang. Rock & roll won't save your soul. The truth won't set you free. But on any given night, George Clinton can give you all the bass you need for well over three hours. Is that worth $30? Best damn bargain on the planet.
-- Michael Bertin